Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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