My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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