I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize