Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
