And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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