I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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