I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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