i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
