Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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