I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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