it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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