1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
