Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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