quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
