I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
