facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
