he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it because I queefed?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
