Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
