road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
