I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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