yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize