That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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