At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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