i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
