I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
