I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
