You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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