I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
