marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so fucking centered right now
Umm I'm too high to move.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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