I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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