i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Everything about him screamed your future.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
