she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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