ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
