Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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