he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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