love makes seman taste better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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