Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
