rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
