I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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