you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Success! We fucked roommates!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
