You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
