we made out on top of his cat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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