my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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