@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
