At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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