The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
