This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
