THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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