New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
