**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
