So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
