Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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