Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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