waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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