I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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