I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
