I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
