you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
