Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We named our party play list daddy issues
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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