she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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