drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
