his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
