We're like a lot better than the average bears
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
