This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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