So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
